“It is what it is.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“You only live once.”
These are all examples of a “thought-terminating cliché,” a term coined by American psychiatrist and author Robert Jay Lifton in the 1960s. It describes the process of compressing complex issues into “brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases,” which has the power to quell critical thinking and stop a conversation altogether.
Clichés prevent us from having meaningful debate and they can be incredibly deflating when we’re trying to move forward or achieve something, for example, in the context of learning a language.
People may use thought-terminating clichés to dominate a conversation or to justify their own decisions and/or behaviour.
For example, have you ever heard someone tell you that “Duolingo doesn’t work” as a learning tool, only to find out that this person didn’t go on to seek other more effective methods, but instead used this conclusion to justify the halting of their language learning?
In this way, the use of thought-terminating clichés contributes to self-sabotage. Let’s bring out these sneaky little saboteurs and knock them on the head.
You don’t have the language gene
Whether you’ve convinced yourself, or someone else told you that you don’t possess the language gene, congratulations, you are holding one of the strongest “get out of jail free” cards in the thought-terminating cliché card deck.
There is no scientific evidence of any such gene that dictates our ability to learn a foreign language.
The reality is that learning a foreign language is hard work, like learning any other skill, such as getting fit after a long period of inactivity or learning to write as a child (we’ve just forgotten how hard). People who succeed in learning to do something well simply understand the amount of work, time, practice and effort required.
If we conclude that we don’t have it in us to learn a language, to reach a healthy level of fitness, learn that musical instrument, guess what? We can stop trying.
Read about what’s really holding you back in my 3 incredibly common barriers that are making you think you lack the language gene, and how to overcome them post.
Everyone speaks English anyway
Jakub Marian’s Map of the percentage of people speaking English in the EU by country shows the 2012 self-reported state-of-play on who can hold a conversation in English. I imagine that these percentages are a fair bit higher these days, but the point remains, that not everyone speaks English.
If it’s other people who are chanting this at you to justify their own monolingualism, or to downplay your language skills, take a leaf out of Richard Simcott’s book with a beautiful analogy he used when speaking to Andrew Marr on LBC last year.
He explained that speaking one language is like watching a black and white TV. The more languages you learn, the more colours appear on the TV, and more vibrantly. Yes, we can live comfortably in English in some contexts and parts of the world, but who wouldn’t want live more colourfully if possible?
Learning a language isn’t just about communicating a message; there are many more benefits, including increasing our neuroplasticity, enhancing our communication skills even in our native language, better understanding our own and other people’s origins, culture, and literature, and more.
AI has made language-learning obsolete
Just as the invention of the calculator did not end maths, the invention of the phone has not killed the book, and AI has not made language-learning obsolete.
Yes, AI will transform many industries like translation, interpretation and teaching, but it will not change our desire to connect with others in their own language, with our own heritage, to read a piece of literature in its original language, and more.
If anything, AI is making learning a foreign language easier, and so it could transform our language skills in the other direction.
People just reply to me in English anyway
This just isn’t universally true. If you avoid touristy areas, you’ll increase your chances of meeting people happy to converse in your target language.
In situations where people do reply in English, despite your attempts to practise your target language, using this as a reason to stop trying allows other people to dictate how far you progress in your learning.
People reply in English for a variety of reasons: to genuinely try to help you (this is common in pharmacies in Germany, to ensure you understand the information given exactly), to practise their English, and of course, sometimes just because they’re too impatient to wait for you to finish speaking.
If it frustrates you that every time you go to your target language’s country, people reply to your attempts at speaking their language in English, rather than giving up:
- go somewhere less touristy
- tell them you can speak the language or that you’re keen to practise: ich kann auf Deutsch / me gustaría practicar mi español / Pode falar comigo em portugues, por favor?
- tell them you don’t speak English
- talk to someone else
- ask other language learners what they do in this scenario and try them all out!
I’m a visual learner so can’t be doing with “studying” traditionally
This one can apply to multiple types of learning; there’s a whole wave of learners online who espouse that progress can’t be made in the classroom, or that you won’t learn through books, but instead, out in the real world.
The thing to remember here is that whilst we all have different preferences when it comes to our learning, learning happens in the brain for everyone.
In The Hidden Lives of Learners, Graham Nuthall explains that “We all have different food preferences…[but this] does not mean that the metabolic processes by which we digest and use food are different.”
Language lessons can feel a little like a laboratory, which doesn’t reflect the real world. In reality, for the most effective learning, we generally need some structured scaffolding (whether through independent study or a course) and freedom out in the real world to apply what we’ve learnt.
Negative school memories may also impact our perception of our ability to study in a more traditional setting. And even if you try a more traditional learning method or particular course, it could be another factor like the teaching style or material.
The key here is, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because it’s not effective for you to do weekly vocabulary tests like you were subjected to at school, it doesn’t mean you should throw out your notebook altogether.
X language is too difficult to learn to fluency
If someone says this to you, or you’re beating yourself with this particular stick, you first need to define what is meant by the word “fluency.” If it means, “sound like a native,” well, very few people achieve this, in any foreign language, even after years of living abroad, so forget that.
Choose something a little more realistic. I like the pub definition. If you can sit in a pub and have a pub-level, jolly conversation in the language, where your interlocutor understands everything you say, errors or not, you can say you’re fluent.
Secondly, define what it is you’d like to be able to do in this “impossible” language. If you don’t have complex philosophical conversations in your native language, then you don’t need to learn to do so in your target language.
If you’re learning the language in order to better understand a country when visiting on holiday, then achieving fluency isn’t necessary for this. Pick your purpose and just enjoy the journey. Whilst you’re busy prioritising the pleasure of the process, you’ll be progressing anyway.
X nationality doesn’t use correct grammar
If you are learning a less popular form of a foreign language, or one that has perhaps morphed due to migratory or colonial movements, you may have been subjected to judgement from others regarding the “quality” of what you’re learning.
I once had a guy who’d lived in Portugal for years scoff at the fact that I learnt Brazilian Portuguese, because “they don’t speak correctly.” Eye roll.
You could go down the route of questioning what counts as “correct,” who made the rules on such things, considering the speed at which language evolves and so on – and if you do choose this route, read Amanda Montell’s Wordslut; she has a whole chapter on “How to Embarrass the Shit Out of People Who Try to Correct Your Grammar.“
If that’s not your style, then consider that this person has done you a massive favour; they’ve made it clear that it’s not worth wasting your time on them.
If you’re unsure which variant of a language you should learn because of differences in grammar usage, don’t go with what idiots say is “correct;” go with the most logical choice for your life. If you plan to spend most of your time in Brazil, it’s illogical to learn European Portuguese; because you’ll end up with a lot of crossed wires in communication!
There’s no point learning a minority language
This statement is pretty affronting, and can leave us feeling we need to justify why we are learning X language.
Instead of falling into that nasty trap, Uno reverse your challenger and ask them “why?”, “what do you mean by ‘no point’?”, and follow up further using the Socratic Method of questioning.
This cliché will quickly fall apart under questioning.
You won’t learn a language with Duolingo
This one hits new learners particularly hard. Being told that Duolingo doesn’t work when you’ve been eagerly keeping up your streak can be incredibly deflating.
Whether you’re team Duo or a sceptic, people use Duolingo for different reasons, so it may not work for what some people want to achieve, but will for others.
If someone says this to you, ask them for an alternative method (concrete steps and proof!). They may come up with something useful, and if they don’t, then you know not to take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from, and you can carry on with what works for you.
If you are looking to step up from Duolingo, check out my posts on the topic:
Final thoughts
Thought-terminating clichés aren’t always bad.
One I like to use when someone is clearly leading a conversation down a path that I think will end badly, I dish out the classic “we’ll have to agree to disagree,” and then I promptly change the subject.
And this response is a useful one if someone spouting any of the above clichés won’t back down, even after you’ve unpicked their statement.
If you’re fighting against your own use of clichés, it’s worth asking yourself what benefit you draw from these one-liners. How might you change your learning decisions if you removed your go-to cliché from your thought-patterns?
Maybe you’d try out material for a variety of learning styles. Perhaps you’d challenge yourself to continue speaking to people in your target language, and only stop when someone replies in the language and not in English. Why not choose an off-beat holiday destination to maximise your chances of meeting people who don’t speak English?
Are there any other clichés you’re bored of hearing or that you can’t get out of your head? How do you deal with them?
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