“Learning a language is easy!” – said no one ever.
However, you can smooth the way a little if you have a realistic view of the road ahead.
Knowing what’s typical in the process of learning a language is also reassuring because you’re more likely to stay motivated, and less likely to believe thought-terminating clichés spouted at you by negative voices.
So without further ado, here are 10 reassuring truths about language learning, which I remind myself of any time I’m on the verge of losing my language mojo:
1) The hardest part is at the very start
Have you ever listened to native speakers talking and thought to yourself “I will never understand that”?
This is really common with beginners; memorising even a small amount of words, mastering that mega-foreign sound or hearing the difference between two similar-sounding words takes a lot of time and energy when you’re starting out.
I remember spending quite literally days practising pronouncing the French words magazine and magasin during my second failure to learn French. It was excruciating. If only I’d known what I know now!
The good news is that it won’t always be this difficult. Remember when driving a car required intense focus – checking your mirrors, managing speed, signalling – all at once? Now, you do it almost automatically. Language learning follows a similar path; at first, every word feels like a conscious effort, but eventually, it all starts to flow naturally.
2) It’ll get worse before it gets better
So, you’ve graduated from the beginner zone, congratulations! You’re not plain sailing yet, though. The more you learn, the more you’ll realise you don’t know.
This is known as the “Valley of Despair” within the Dunning Kruger Effect, which is a cognitive bias where people with low ability in a subject overestimate their competence, while more knowledgeable individuals tend to doubt themselves.
My Valley of Despair for Italian hit hard at the start of my Erasmus year; I sat amongst native Italians for my first Philosophy lecture at Verona University. What a rude awakening that was! Needing the credits for my degree, I knew the only way to deal with the Valley of Despair was to crawl through it. And I did.. Just!
In reality, the Valley of Despair is a good thing! It means you’ve moved past the Peak of “Mount Stupid”, where you felt over-confident. You now have no choice but to walk/limp/crawl through; acknowledge the overwhelming feeling regarding how much more you have to learn, and keep going.
3) Your speaking ability can depend on who you’re talking to
In all my languages, I have experienced feeling really confident in conversation one day, to totally incompetent the next.
Regardless of someone’s accent, (im)patience or how well they can interpret my slip ups, experience has taught me that individual conversations are not the yard stick for one’s abilities.
If you’ve not yet reached this epiphany, first check out my Language learning trauma: why people trash our language skills and why it hurts so much post, then steer directly towards those people who make you feel good!
4) You won’t always feel like you’re progressing – but you are
You know how I said that the start of language learning is the hardest part?
It’s also when you’ll feel your progress most acutely, nice! With so much new information thrown at you, every lesson feels like a breakthrough. You’ll remember knowing nothing of your target language like it was yesterday, so the difference feels (and is) remarkable.
At some point, however, the progress slows. This is normal! The more you learn, the harder it becomes to notice incremental progress – like trying to see your own hair growing.
But just as your hair grows, your brain is still processing and building knowledge.
I had this exact experience when learning French. I’d started to see French as a language I would simply never master, only to be placed in a B2 class at a language school in Bordeaux a couple of years ago, showing how much knowledge I’d acquired at times I’d previously labelled as ongoing failures.
Stick with it, and before you know it, you’ll have a moment where everything just clicks.
5) You don’t need all the words to be fluent
I don’t know all the words in my native language and neither do you!
And get this: British newspaper The Daily Mail has an average reading age of roughly 9 years old, and American newspaper USA Today has an average reading age of 11-12 years old.
This doesn’t end with reading either; most social media reels use language that 9-12-year-olds could understand.
Ergo, if you learn the same amount of words as the average 12 year old in your target language, you can consider yourself fluent. What a relief!
6) You will sound ridiculous sometimes
An inevitable part of stretching your speaking muscles is making some potentially embarrassing mistakes.
Whether you say something completely incomprehensible, or worse, inappropriate, remember that this happens to every learner, in every language.
In a second-hand shop only a couple of months ago, instead of asking if something was for sale (zu verkaufen), I asked if it was free (zu verschenken). The sales person furrowed his brow and replied “Nein.” The embarrassment!
First embrace the cringe, then tell your friends. People love hearing these stories. Read more of mine in How to deal with embarrassing language errors: make them into a good story.
7) You’ll understand something without trying when you least expect it
Whether you manage to deduce the meaning of an unknown word, pick up what someone says on public transport, or finally understand the lyrics to a song that’s alluded you, one day it’ll just click.
As you progress with your learning, those moments will increase in frequency. Keep track of these wins in your head and ride the highs for further motivation!
8) There’s no single finish line
You’re not at school anymore! There’s no horrible final exam to decide whether you’re “good enough” at your target language, and of course, that’s a good thing.
Whether you do decide to do a CEFR exam (they’re not as bad as school ones!), or your “arrival” is being able to converse with a native about daily topics, there’s no pressure; you set your own goals, reach them, and then decide if you want to go further.
Not sure how to set and achieve your language goals? Read my The simplest (and most fun!) way to set your 2025 language goals and achieve them post.
9) You’ll never stop learning (and that’s a good thing)
Definitively completable tasks aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. If you finish a marathon (bravo, of course!), you won’t necessarily keep running post-victory; if you complete a computer game, you’re less likely to keep playing. You get the picture.
Languages are vast, and they are constantly evolving. Even native speakers pick up new words all the time. This eternal quest will give you renewed motivation time and again.
Final thoughts
This list may have surprised you by demonstrating that you are not special in any particular way when it comes to language learning. You are not especially bad at X or Y; you’re riding similar highs and dropping into the same potholes as other learners. And that is a big reassuring fact about language learning!
Which means that as long as you keep practising, trying out different methods – for variety is the spice of language acquisition – and focusing on the next step rather than the big (scary!) picture, you will get to your final destination.
Which point reassured you the most? Like and share this post if you enjoyed it 😃
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