So you’ve plucked up the courage to attend a language exchange either in your home country or somewhere foreign; well done!
However, if you’ve tried a language exchange before, and come away feeling a bit “meh” – like I have – then these 7 proven strategies for improving your speaking skills are for you.
These are all things I did week on week at Blabla language exchange Bordeaux, and I can tell you – they work!
If you’re on the lookout for an exchange, I’d recommend you check the BlaBla language exchange website to see if your city hosts one of their exchanges, and if not, check out Eventbrite, Meetup and Facebook. Often exchanges are language specific but sometimes they’re more general (as BlaBla is). You’ll find a list of active groups across the UK at the bottom of this article.
So without further ado, here are my 7 tips to get the most out of a language exchange:
- Make a beeline for the host at your first event
- Approach groups or a minimum of 2 people over lone wolves
- Speak IMMEDIATELY in your target language
- Tap into your alter ego
- Have some topics in your back pocket
- If you’re really struggling to put yourself out there, try Crosstalk
- Exchange numbers
- Try out other activities organised by the exchange group
- Become a regular
- Final thoughts
1) Make a beeline for the host at your first event
For your first event, ask after the event host! This person will be keen to integrate newbies, so will welcome you with open arms and will insert you into a conversation, eliminating that embarrassing Bridget Jones moment.
2) Approach groups or a minimum of 2 people over lone wolves
Beyond that first conversation, you should always aim to be the third or fifth wheel in a conversation at an exchange, as there’s little risk of you getting stuck talking to the same person all night.
Check out the photo here as an example of what works. I sat at this table when there were only two other people sitting there.
Gradually, over the course of the evening, I spoke to everyone at the table in English, Spanish and French, so I improved my speaking skills in two languages for the price of one!
3) Speak IMMEDIATELY in your target language
It doesn’t have to be perfect, but the longer you leave it, the more daunting the idea of speaking in your target language becomes. Remember, communication over accuracy.
4) Tap into your alter ego
This one’s particularly useful when you’re feeling too nervous to start talking. In the past, when I introduced myself as “Lucía” during Spanish language exchanges, it helped me “step up” to a more open, less sarcastic and generally sunnier version of myself, which got people interested in talking to me.
If you want to transform from Marta in Knives Out to Paloma in No Time to Die, check out my post on Why you should cultivate an alter ego in your target language and how to do it.
5) Have some topics in your back pocket
Some language exchanges will provide topics for at least part of the evening if they’re well-organised, but you need to be prepared for those free-style moments! For this, it’s worth having some topics in your back pocket. What’s the latest scandal or big topic in the [insert-language-here]-speaking world? Have a few things up your sleeve that will get natives talking and debating!
Examples:
Basic French —> do you like this town/city? Why/why not?
Intermediate French —> do you think French is hard even for natives? Why/why not?
Upper-intermediate French —> what’s your opinion on inclusive writing?
Basic Spanish —> what kind of music is popular in Spain/Argentina/[relevant Hispanophone country]?
Intermediate Spanish —> do you like the Spanish royal family? Why/why not?
Upper-intermediate Spanish —> why is poo such a big feature in Catalan Christmas traditions?!
Basic Italian —> can you teach me some Italian gestures?
Intermediate Italian —> what’s your favourite Italian dish and why?
Upper-intermediate Italian —> what are the big differences between the north and south in Italy?
Collate a list of slang to amuse the natives:
During my time in Bordeaux, I learnt loads of slang whilst watching The Hook-Up Plan, which I would write in my phone notes.
At Blabla Bordeaux, any time there was a lull in a conversation, I’d whip out the slang and would ask natives to teach me more; they always found it hilarious.
Start your own list on your phone in your chosen foreign language and add anything you learn from songs, films, tv, ready to crush that lull!
6) If you’re really struggling to put yourself out there, try Crosstalk
Pablo Roman Humanes – creator of Dreaming Spanish – discusses the values of Crosstalk, a communication style where two people talk to each other, each in their own language.
This gives you maximum exposure to the target language, allowing you to concentrate fully on listening, without the pressure of speaking.
The theory goes that your brain will process native level language, without being intercepted by learners’ dodgy translations or structures inappropriate to the target language.
I haven’t ever tried this at a language exchange but having been in a relationship with a Brazilian for a number of years, I can recall many conversations when we were tired after work, for example, where we’d have full conversations where I’d speak in English and he’d reply in Portuguese. The result of this is that set correct phrases got lodged in my head, which I could later regurgitate perfectly, ultimately improving my speaking skills through listening to faultless native chat.
Don’t stick in this zone for more than a conversation, though! And don’t leave that conversation before you’ve switched to the other person’s language. Remember, it’s an exchange. Tit for tat is built into the model.
7) Exchange numbers
Don’t leave until you’ve got at least three phone numbers! It doesn’t matter whether they’re the phone numbers of native speakers or your own compatriots. This is about building a network of people who care about languages as much as you do. Invite someone for a 1-2-1 coffee (way less pressure than a crowded room!) and remember to text in the language you want to practise!
8) Try out other activities organised by the exchange group
Often exchange groups put on other events. BlaBla Bordeaux does monthly Bachata classes, which I’ve attended a couple of times, and as such, I’ve had the pleasure of having some very slick Latinos teach me to dance in Spanish.
This gets you chatting more organically, making you less worried about making errors and more about communicating successfully. If that doesn’t improve your speaking skills AND confidence, I don’t know what will!
A quick Google session showed me that Spanglish Languages and Culture in London offer salsa classes as part of their exchanges, Alliance Française Bristol has a French cinema club, and French Drama Club in London is all about learning French whilst acting! You can even niche down further with some groups, for example, London LGBTQ+ Community Centre has LGBTQ+ language exchanges for French, Dutch and Chinese!
9) Become a regular
All of the above advice will not help you to improve your speaking skills unless you become a regular at your chosen language exchange, and remember, if one exchange doesn’t work for you after you’ve given it a few stabs, try a different one. If there isn’t a language exchange where you live, create one! Blabla is always welcoming new organisers in new cities.
Final thoughts
Believe me when I tell you that language exchanges become far less daunting once you to start to recognise friendly faces. I went to the Blabla Bordeaux event every week for 2 months and I made so many friends; if you go enough, at some point, you’ll be that familiar face to someone else looking for a way into a conversation!
Here is a list of active groups across the UK and Ireland:
Lighthouse Spanish Academy in Cardiff
Languageexchanges.com in Manchester, Birmingham, Sheffield, Glasgow and Leeds
Language Cafe in Kingston & Wimbledon, London
Edinburgh Language Exchange (ELE) in Edinburgh
Bristol Language Exchange in Bristol
Blabla Language Exchange in Dublin and London
Have you attended or considered attending a language exchange before? If the latter, what’s stopping you? And if the former, how did you find it? What did you do to ensure you improved your speaking skills? Comment below!
The Talking Ticket 
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